Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
