do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
