my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
