just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
