I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
