She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
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