So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
