Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
