My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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