Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The uberlube is also flammable
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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