even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
