Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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