two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
