in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
