At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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