WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
