How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
