She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize