first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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