shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
