i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
