I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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