Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
