Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
