a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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