If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
