i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
