Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
