My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
