guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
how do flat chested girls get laid?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
