GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize