Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize