We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
