Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
