You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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