What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
