Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
