sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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