Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
