If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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