I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Farmville is her only friend.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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