i think i have herpe
just one?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
