Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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