He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
