Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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