Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
