Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
