Life is so much better after having sex.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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