with your own penis?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
