just tell him i said nine months
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
