Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
