If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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