He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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