He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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