What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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