As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
