Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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