Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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