we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
